Carinderia Menu, Anyone?

My brother sent me an email with this on it… it was hella funny, and I decided that I’d share it with you guys before I start posting my usual shit tomorrow…

However, this is in Tagalog, so to those who are not well-versed in the language/dialect, my sincere apologies - for you missing out on the fun ;)

Let’s begin this buffet from hell, shall we?

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• TAPSILOG - Tapa, Sinangag, Itlog
• LONGSILOG - Longganisa, Sinangag, Itlog
• HOTSILOG - Hotdog, Sinangag, Itlog
• PORKSILOG - Baboy, Sinangag, Itlog
• CHICKSILOG - Chicken Sinangag Itlog
• AZUCARERA - Adobong Aso
• LUGLOG - Lugaw, Itlog
• PAKAPLOG - Pandesal, Kape, Itlog
• KALOG - Kanin, Itlog
• PAKALOG - Pandesal, Kanin, Itlog
• MAALOG NA BETLOG - Maalat na Itlog, Pakbet, Itlog
• BAHAW - kaning lamig ito… pero may nagtinda, Bakang Inihaw
• KALKAL - Kalderetang Kalabaw
• HIMAS - Hipon Malasado
• HIMAS SUSO - Hipon Malasado, Sugpo, Keso
• HIMAS PEKPEK - Hipon Malasado, Kropek, Pinekpek’n
• PEKPEK MONG MALAKI - Kropek, Pinekpek’n, Monggo, Malasado, Laing, Kilawin
• DILA - Dinuguan, Laing
• DILAAN MO - Dinuguan, Laing, Dalandan, Molo
• BOKA BOKA - Bopis, Kanin, Bokayo, Kape
• BOKA BOKA MO PA - Bopis, Kanin, Bokayo, Kape, Molong Pancit
• KANTOT - Kanin, Tortang Talong
• KANTOT PA - Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit
• SIGE KANTOT PA - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit
• SIGE KANTOT PA IBAON MO - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit… Take out
• SIGE KANTOT PA HA - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit, Halo-halo
• SIGE KANTOT PA IBAON MO PAPA - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit… Take out w/ Ketchup
• PAKANTOT - Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong
• PAPAKANTOT - Papaitan, Kanin, Tortang Talong
• PAPAKANTOT KA BA - Papaitan, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Kapeng Barako
• PAKANTOT SA YO - Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Saging… + Yosi
• PAKANTOT KA - Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Kape
• PAKANTOT KA HABANG MATIGAS PA - Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Kape, Inihaw na Bangus, Maruya, Tinola, Ginisang Aso, Pancit
• SUBO - Sugpo, Bopis
• SUBO MO - Sugpo, Bopis, Molo
• SUBO MO PA - Sugpo, Bopis, Molo, Pancit
• SUBO MO PA MAIGE - Sugpo, Bopis, Molo, Mais, Pige
• SUBO MO TITE KO - Sugpo, Bopis, Molo, Tinola, Teriyaki, Kochinta
• SUBO MO TITE KO BILIS! - Sugpo, Bopis, Molo, Tinola Teryaki, Kochinta, Bihon, Tawilis
• SUBO MO TITE KO BILIS, HAYOP! - …same as above, minura mo lang yung waiter - kasi ang tagal ng order…

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I think I just lost my appetite there…