Florida: Long Flights, Long Drives and… Long Lap Dances…

Things passing through my mind as I sit here alone in a room at the Dolphin Hotel in Disneyworld… and wondering if I should still post this since some of it might be PG-13…

Guess I didn’t have to wait till Monday to post a blog entry.  I should’ve known there was gonna be broadband connectivity in a hotel that’s in the general area of the Happiest Place on Earth.  (Imagine me with a big toothy grin as I type that… oh, not convincing enough?  Well, to hell with you, you unhappy person! hehe…)

Anyway, I got here to Orlando, Florida last Thursday, at around 2:30pm Eastern time (made sure to adjust my watch forward three hours while I was still on the plane).  The flight took five hours, non-stop, from Los Angeles to Orlando, and I just have to say that it was the most tiring flight I ever took.

Granted I was awake for more than 24 hours prior to boarding the plane, it still didn’t change the fact that the "short" trip was draining…  I only got to sleep for just over an hour on the plane, even though I was tired as hell and haven’t slept a wink since Wednesday morning… That American Airlines 757 jet was cramped like hell, kinda like a Tijuana bus with wings, and without the loud farm animals and the body odor.  I guess I should’ve expected it, having to pay only less than $200 for a round-trip ticket…

* * * * *

At the airport departure area, they confiscated my lighter… It was a cheap, disposable lighter I bought at 7-11 for a dollar, but it kinda pissed me off coz now, I’ll have a pack of cigarettes but nothing to light it with… that’s marginally considered torture in some states, I bet…

My seat was beside the window, which was the way I usually reserve seats. (when people ask me why I choose the seat beside the window, I tell em it makes it easier for me roll down the window and barf when I feel motion sickness… har har…)  Anyway, as my luck would have it, there were already people seated on the two seats beside mine, so I had to ask them to stand up from their seats so I can squeeze in (imagine my "big-boned" self trying to make my way towards my seat with two bags - yeah, the overhead compartment was full, coz some idiot put more than his fair share of baggage up there, probably his wife’s freakin wardrobe or somethin’).  So, with a big bag under my feet, and the bag containing a laptop firmly lodged on my lap, I tried to make myself comfortable… which means I tried to sit down without getting leg cramps…

The guy beside me seemed to be some overworked, underpaid gentleman, coz he was snoozing without a care in the world, and using ME as his pillow for most of the trip.  The asshole in me wanted to lean forward suddenly and let the guy’s head hit the armrest, but fortunately a rare sense of restraint kept me from doing something that fun…

The inflight movie didn’t make it better…  The March of the Penguins…  I was beginning to think this was some practical joke being played on me.  I didn’t bother to get my earphones from my bag (mostly because trying to get it from the bag would require a generous amount of exertion and contortion, and anyway, I would probably have just had cramps from trying).  It also didn’t matter… watching a show about penguins walking wasn’t something I’d be interested in hearing about…

But I endured until we finally landed at the Orlando airport.  After that, it was a loooong drive towards the place I was supposed to be staying first before I head off to the hotel the next day.

Florida is interesting.  Having lived in Los Angeles for almost 10 years of my life in the U.S., and it being my first time in Florida, it was a nice dose of geographic shock.  There were considerably less cars, significantly more trees, and noticeably less people loafing around.  Instead of looking at a lot of grey and brown like in L.A., everywhere I look there was something green to look at.  It was almost refreshing.

Before we got to the house I was supposed to stay at temporarily, we made a stopover… to a place called The Inner Room… a truly wonderful place…

* * * * *

The Inner Room was a really nice strip joint somewhere in the outskirts of Orlando.  Actually, I didn’t know we were gonna be stopping by a strip joint until we were at the backdoor of the building…  I was going through the motions of putting out my cigarette before entering, but my friend said "You don’t have to, it’s allowed inside…"

I looked up curiously and was about to ask what kind of "establishment" was it that we were supposed to enter, until my friend opened the door and the first thing I saw was some topless white woman doing a slow grind on a stage a short distance from where we were…

Realization hit me as we nonchalantly walked towards one of the empty tables near that stage and I saw several women sitting at the corner - pretty, curvy, and half-naked.

DAMN… 

There were five of us in the group, and I was the youngest one (relatively speaking… with me weighing in at 32 years old, imagine how old the others were…).  It was quite obvious that most of them have been to that place before, because they know some of the girls by name…  After watching four or five women bare their soul on stage, I was introduced to this really gorgeous girl, who asked me if I wanted to dance…

Upon looking all over the place and finding no dancefloor to "dance" in, I quickly found out just what she was inviting me for… 

It wasn’t like I have never experienced a lap dance before, but this instance was like a surprise attack on me, so I almost hesitated - almost…  being the virtuous and chivalrous guy that I am, I smiled at the pretty lady and said, "Sure babe…" and we headed to the back of the room, not hidden from public view but far enough to be inconspicuous…

She was good at what she did, but it didn’t quite give me the "effect" I was hoping for… maybe it was the tiring plane trip or my lack of sleep, but hardworking junior was slow and careful…  Don’t get me wrong, junior was standing up and was as rigid as a model platoon officer at ROTC, but for some weird reason he isn’t barking out the final orders…  She was asking all sorts of questions as she was doing it anyway, so in order not to appear like some clay statue, I humored her and… talked to her…

Haha, yeah, it’s kinda weird trying to have a normal conversation with a pretty girl while she’s got her hips gyrating on your crotch…  It was an interesting conversation though…  she said she was allegedly 21 years old, a Filipina born in the States, currently in college with one-and-a-half years left to finish, with a major in Marketing.  She also mentions having a boyfriend who was African American, who is in active duty in the military, and that she just does this "job" for extra money AND her own personal enjoyment…

(You have to realize that she was sharing all this information while "dancing" … and I was listening and replying while I was feeling her up… even had to apologize a bit after "accidentally" nibbling at her tits…)

After the "dance" was over, she asked if I wanted another… hey, I wanted to give hardworking junior a second chance, since he was still as alert and solid as the royal guards of Buckingham Palace… So digging into my hidden gift of chivalry and respect for all women, I said "sure!"

So she "danced" again… more furious and deliberate this time.  I thought she was noticing how junior wouldn’t put out, but it seemed she just wanted to talk to me some more, coz she was sharing all sorts of personal things this time.  Like any normal man who has a woman rubbing against him, I laughed at her jokes, and replied with my own quips and jokes, in which she giggled (sometimes hugging my neck and smashing my face into her breasts).  I was even inviting her to come to the business convention we had in Disneyworld, her being a Marketing student and all.  She thought I was coming onto her and indirectly asking for a date, which I really wasn’t… It was actually fun this time, and we were both still laughing by the time she had finished…

I was digging into my wallet and was gonna pay for the "damages", but she leaned into me and whispered, "I’ll give you a free one just this time, just don’t tell anyone… I like to ‘talk’ some more…"

Being a full-blooded male with less than 50 bucks in his wallet, how could I say no?

So she gave me that "free dance" … ironically, we didn’t do much talking this time, and she was very into it… junior was almost beginning to cooperate, but before he could give out the last hurrah, the freebie was over…

(Why is it that what gets me aroused is almost always a freebie?  Hmm, I think there’s something to ponder in that…)

* * * * *

I talked some more with her after that for another 15 minutes, before we headed back to our table, where my other friends were looking at me with weird expressions, and asking me if I spent everything I had on the woman… can’t really blame them, since I was gone for more than 40 minutes…  I told them I had a great time, and I looked over to her and she was giggling.

She kept coming back to our table and asking the others if they wanted a dance too.  I didn’t really think too much into it.  Hell, I didn’t even take her entire story about herself too seriously anyway…  I mean, how many times have I heard the "college student does stripping to continue her education…" story everytime I visit a strip joint… then again, it might be true… who knows…

We left later that night while she was onstage doing her "set" … she just waved to me on my way out, and I did the same… and that’s the end of the story… just a fun little romp in an amazing little place, haha…  Hell, I can’t even remember her name…

I think that trip alone was worth going to Florida… and there’s still that business convention that’s gonna officially start tomorrow… and who ever said you can’t mix business with pleasure?

To those offended by this blog entry and will never read it again… see ya!
To everyone else, I’ll keep you posted!  Ciao!